The totally incorrect way to meet a man, that worked for me anyway (or, OMG, you were a DANCER!)

Alicia's recent post asked those of us in relationships, "where did you meet?".

This is something I've been meaning to post about, so I figure this is as good an opportunity as any.

As my SL profile has not been updated in many, many months, some of you who have viewed it may have come to the brilliant conclusion that I was, once, a *gasp* dancer. Yes, I danced on a pole, wore sexy outfits, and took off pieces of clothing when I received enough "pennies".

I can see you all wrinkling your nose at me now. I understand how "strippers" are viewed in certain circles.

And guess what? I met my love, as a dancer, in the club where I worked, when he wandered in as a relative newbie yet!

I seem to have had a different experience than many dancer/strippers I hear about. Maybe it was the way I spoke to the people who came to see me, that I attracted *quality* people around me. I frustrated the girls who worked alongside me when I developed a large following of 'regulars'. Especially when they were doing their darnest to drag those people into the chairs in front of them, and the sexy talk wasn't doing it for them. But I spent a lot of time on that stage, in that quiet club (yes, it wasn't doing so well when there were no dancers and no customers in half the time). And I spoke to *everyone* that came in, in a friendly, non-sleazy way. Even if they were brand new. Even if they had no 'payment info', or hot skin or the latest prim hair or shoes.

I have had two "relationships" in SL. One I cared about well enough, and one I care about to the extreme. Both of these I met in the club while I was dancing. Both have been perfect gentlemen. And there are a number of others I could have coupled with had I not been so adverse or resistant to the idea, who were *nice* guys too!

Ghilt is one of the most respectful, loving, considerate men I have *ever* met. I resisted forever, because I was NOT looking for a relationship. In fact, we had that conversation a few times while he courted me LOL. I had customers who I'm sure liked the idea that I was single, and I enjoyed being free to explore SL on my own terms, without being "tied down". Ghilt stuck around and was my friend anyway, happy to be with me, even with all the protective walls I put up around myself. And he won over my heart, and slowly broke down those walls. And now I cannot imagine my life without him in it.

He is a wonderful, respectful gentleman, and as such, I have to think I'm not so bad myself, or he would never, ever have put up with me (and continue to put up with me!).

So.. this answers Ali's question. And lets me talk a bit about how not all curvy avatars with iced blonde 'big' hair, who happen to dance (or once danced) are trashy women with no morals or self-esteem. Thankyouverymuch.

Perhaps it is more about who you talk to, how you talk to them, and the airs we put out. My friendships and relationships I formed as a dancer came out of us spending so much time just talking, while my avatar spun around that pole and they sat in the chair in front of me. When you just *talk*, without trying to hook up, and you just get to know someone, that's when the best relationships form.